Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Baby, Sleep Deprivation, Reading and Writing.

Baby Harper made her grand appearance on Monday March 11, at 6:43p. She was 8 pounds, 2 ounces, and 20 inches long and her daddy and I have been strung around her little finger ever since.

That being said, our days now consist of two and a half hour blocks of time. Every three hours I feed her, change her, and do my best to put her back down, this usually takes about half hour. When all goes as planned. Then I run around like a mad woman, racing time to see how much damage control I can get done around the house before the cycle starts again. Whew. Parenthood is exhausting. I don't think I was actually prepared for how much this tiny human sucks up your time. I have become the ultimate multi-tasker. Even as I write this I am eating a quick bowl of cereal and thinking ahead to the next thing, which is shower before the mediacom guy gets here in half hour, dishes and at least one load of laundry. 

That being said I walk around in a bit of a haze right now. This is the first thing I have written since bringing her home. I told the hubs the other day that I cant imagine a time in my life where I am rested enough to even think about forming sentences that make sense and taking time out of my two and a half hour block to write. Writing just feels like a luxury. I understand that "This too Shall Pass" and that she won't stay this little forever, and that eventually she has to figure out that nighttime is for sleeping and daytime is for being awake, but until that happens, there isn't going to be any writing happening. Worth it though. I wouldn't trade my life right now for the world. Another thing that I wasn't prepared for besides how much this little being changes everything about your world, was how little any of that matters. I thought I would feel bitter, or resent her for all of the changes that she brought. Nope. Not even close. I wasn't prepared for the instant love that flooded my body. I still look at her sometimes and am in denial that she is mine, that I had a part in making her and bringing her into the world. She is worth every sacrifice on my time, sleep, and dreams, that I have to make. She is already making me a better person and if anything I want to write more just so that she can have a mommy who does what she dreams of doing, showing her that its important to follow your dreams. 

I've decided that I am going to give myself another month before I jump back into it. Wait until she is 6 weeks old and pray that we are on a better nighttime schedule. Maybe I'll feel like writing before then. I always feel like writing, its just not always realistic right now. I have finally started reading again though. I couldn't even think about picking up a book last week. This week I am on my second, so maybe the break will be good. Maybe I will catch up on my GIANT TBR pile. Or, maybe I'll just keep buying books. You never can tell.

Have a fantastic day everyone!

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